Can Forgetting Help You Remember?

Four times a year, I attend the Yizkor service at synagogue. Yizkor in Hebrew denotes "remembrance," and the official name of the service, Hazkarat Neshamot, means a "remembering of souls." During the service, I call to mind loved ones who have died--parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, close friends--reliving shared times that were cherished, and some that were fraught. I think about what I learned from these people, several of whom were in my life from my first moments of awareness. I recall being taught to swim by my father, hearing my pious Russian grandmother's tearful account of the Kishinev pogrom, standing by my father's bedside as a medical student in an underequipped community hospital as he suffered a fatal heart attack.