Our Driverless Cars Are More Human Than Ever

When product testers told us that our robo-cars "lacked humanity" and felt like "soulless, uncanny harbingers of doom," we listened, and updated our software to make your driving experience feel more human than ever before. Let's just say, the next time you curse out a maniac swerving recklessly in front of you, it may not be a person you want to run off the road. When it comes to defensive driving, we believe that the best defense is a good offense--and thanks to your valuable feedback, nothing is more offensive than our human-inspired driverless vehicles. New advanced driver-assistance settings range from "Driving Too Slow in the Fast Lane" to "Driving Too Fast in the Slow Lane," and all selections include meaningless lane changes that never actually save any time. There's even an option to run red lights and drive over the speed limit if you're running a little late, there's an emergency, or you simply want to passive-aggressively communicate anger to a difficult passenger.