The beautiful dream of this 1997 Onion article is finally coming to life

I think we can all agree that The Onion is one of America's greatest treasures. And I'm not just saying that because they're headquartered in my adopted hometown of Chicago; I'm saying it because it's absolutely true. Its ability to consistently capture our malaise -- whatever our malaise of the day may be -- and translate it into meaningful, sharply funny satire is almost overwhelming, particularly during weeks like this. But I'm not here to heap generic praise on America's Finest News Source, there's been plenty of that. I'm here to question whether its writers and editors are, in fact, shapeshifting time-travelers from an alternate dimension who do a better job of predicting the future than actual, non-satirical pundits do.