I'm a Cicada. You're a Horny Human. We Are Not the Same

What has six legs, is reemerging after being isolated for eons in its own anal fluids, and just wants to bone all summer long? You, you vaccinated horndog, shedding your grubby sweatsuit exoskeleton and so eager to scurry about for sex, brunch, and spiked seltzers that you've practically sprouted extra limbs. Brood X Cicada is a Brood X cicada based in the backyard garden of a retired math teacher in West Virginia. This is his first and last published piece. OK, the anatomically correct answer is me, a Brood X cicada.