Platformers are the most diabolical gaming genre. I should know

There are only two video games my wife has ever enjoyed: Mario Kart, in which she has gleefully brought up the rear for the entirety of our family life; and Crash Bandicoot, of which she was, at one stage, the greatest player in the world. She completed every molecule of every Crash game in the 90s. I swear I saw her get 105% on one of them, but this being the 90s, I have filed that memory under "things I may have hallucinated in an altered state", along with Gary McAllister missing that penalty at Wembley, and the band Menswear. I have never been a completionist like her. For me, platformers are the greatest video game genre that I absolutely hate – be it manic miners, plumbers, hedgehogs, Mega Man, Aladdin or Earthworm Jim.