The President Is a Computer, and Other News

Does the president pass the Turing Test? When I listen to his answers to basic questions and compare those answers to a real human's, it's plain to see that he's a computer--most likely, my research suggests, a Tandy 1000 EX purchased from a RadioShack in Secaucus, NJ sometime in December 1986. If this is the case, it explains a lot of his more mystifying decision-making procedures. The neurologist Robert A. Burton sees plenty of evidence that the president uses machine learning, making him a rudimentary artificial intelligence: "Trump doesn't operate within conventional human cognitive constraints, but rather is a new life form, a rudimentary artificial intelligence-based learning machine. When we strip away all moral, ethical and ideological considerations from his decisions and see them strictly in the light of machine learning, his behavior makes perfect sense. Consider how deep learning occurs in neural networks such as Google's Deep Mind or IBM's Deep Blue and Watson. In the beginning, each network analyzes a number of previously recorded games, and then, through trial and error, the network tests out various strategies. Connections for winning moves are enhanced; losing connections are pruned away. The network has no idea what it is doing or why one play is better than another. It isn't saddled with any confounding principles such as what constitutes socially acceptable or unacceptable behavior or which decisions might result in negative downstream consequences … As there are no lines of reasoning driving the network's actions, it is not possible to reverse engineer the network to reveal the'why' of any decision."