Fortnite makes me feel like I'm 120 years old

OK fine, laugh -- but it's always been my dream to be a "Cool Dad". The dad who can do flips on a trampoline and still knows how to surf. Sure, I can dole out sound, practical advice when shit hits the fan, but I can also do a pretty sick Ollie when the occasion demands it. Ever since my wife and I (mostly my wife) spawned two boys (a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old) I've long been confident Cool Dad status was incoming. I have a practical advantage: video games.