Assassin's Creed

All of this, on paper, is kind of bananas--and would have been better treated by a bananas movie. Instead, Assassin's Creed is cold in the service of its plot and dutiful in the service of its action. It feels, in other words, like a movie that may check off plenty of gamers' boxes. Unfortunately, no one behind the camera bothered to locate much heart. The only other exception comes during a brief moment when Callum, beginning to lose it after a rough ride in the Animus, begins singing some Patsy Cline. "I'm crazy for trying, I'm crazy for crying," Fassbender cackles, channeling a bit of the gonzo outsider frontman he portrayed in the wonderful 2014 film Frank.