I Watched TMZ's Bizarre Bennifer Documentary. It's, Uh, Saying a Lot.

For weeks now, we've been waiting for the other Timberland-inspired Manolo to drop. About a month ago, news outlets first reported that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's marriage was in trouble--that the two, in fact, had not been seen together in 47 days. No official announcement of a separation or divorce has followed, but the updates we have gotten--he moved out; they're only sometimes wearing their rings--support the narrative that bad news is on its way. I know that it's a sign of my celebrity brain rot that I can't help but see grim parallels between the fragmentary updates on the state of their marriage and the trickle of information about the state of Jimmy Carter's health. When a newsworthy event is likely to happen--for example, the imminent death of a 99-year-old former president--journalistic outlets have a practice of prewriting the news, to have it ready to go when the time comes.