Netflix Categories to Peruse for the Full Length of a Movie Before Falling Asleep

Buddy Comedies for Men Who Don't Have Any Meaningful Male Friendships Buddy Comedies That Could've Been Romantic Comedies If Not for Rampant Homophobia Early 2000s Politically Incorrect Comedies You're Still Allowed to Love Because "It Was a Different Time" and "When Did Everyone Get So Sensitive?" Action Thrillers That Will Leave You Asking, "Why Are the Explosions So Loud, but Then I Can't Hear Any of the Words?" Psychological Crime Thrillers with a Reckless Male Detective Who Doesn't Play by the Rules but Who Is Also Vulnerable and Has a Deep, Defining Trauma That, Once Revealed, Will Perfectly Unlock His Character Arc Robot Sci-Fi Movies That Will Make You Say, "Why Are These People Resisting? If I Had Sentient Robot Overlords (and One Day I Hope to), Then, Gee, I'd Simply Relish Not Having to Make Any More Decisions" True-Crime Documentaries That Will Make You Wonder If You're Still Young or Pretty Enough to Be Targeted by a Serial Killer Because It's Midnight, and Your Phone Just Died, so You Can't Even Search Each Movie's Individual Rotten Tomatoes Score, and One of Your Contact Lenses Is Floating So Far Back on Your Eyeball It Is Now Likely Lost Inside of Your Brain, and Besides It's Not Like You're Really Going to Watch the Movie Anyway, You Just Like Knowing You Have Options, and with Us You Always Have Options! Sure the Majority of Them Are Pig-Trough Slop, but as Long as You Dumb Little Piggies Keep Oinking We'll Keep Shovelling It in, and Pretty Soon You Won't Even Notice That Jeff Bridges Isn't Jeff Bridges but, Rather, the Digitized Likeness of Jeff Bridges, Cuz You Dumb Little Slurping Hogs Will Be Too Sauced Off Our Latest Algorithmic Scum-Muck Special to Ever Know the Difference.