The Toilet Theory of the Internet

Allow me to explain my toilet theory of the internet. The premise, while unprovable, is quite simple: At any given moment, a great deal of the teeming, frenetic activity we experience online--clicks, views, posts, comments, likes, and shares--is coming from people who are scrolling on their phones in the bathroom. Mindless scrolling isn't limited to the bathroom, and plenty of idle or bored swiping happens during other down moments--while waiting in line, or sitting in gridlocked traffic. Right now, somebody somewhere is probably reading an article or liking an Instagram post with a phone in one hand and an irritable infant in the other. The toilet theory is mostly a reminder to myself that the internet is a huge place that is visited countless times each day by billions of people in between and during all the mundane things they have to do.