Newton's Laws of Marriage

I wish we could derive the rest of the phænomena of nature by the same kind of reasoning from mechanical principles. LAW I: A body in motion will be kept in motion. A body at rest will be asked what its plans for the day are. The First Law deals primarily with inertia--which is often mistakenly identified as "relaxing"--and the different ways one body can affect another inert (and perfectly content) body. Conversely, it states that a body in motion will be kept in motion with a list of errands, written on the back of an envelope, before that body "becomes one with the couch for the rest of the day," which seems like an unnecessary characterization.