The Mail

As the director of Just Alternatives, a nonprofit that supports survivors of criminal violence and helps enable dialogues between victims and offenders, I was inspired by Eren Orbey's piece about Katie Kitchen's forgiveness of Joseff Deon White, the man convicted of murdering her father ("Fault Lines," January 24th). In my twenty-one years of working with survivors, I have found that most of the ones who initiate victim-offender dialogues (V.O.D.s), in the states that allow them to do so, aren't necessarily looking to forgive. Rather, they are often seeking to express some of the anguish and trauma that they have endured, and to ask questions that only the offenders can answer. Those of us who facilitate these dialogues understand that we cannot compel offenders to tell the whole story; admittedly, when they don't, some of us are left with the feeling that they don't "deserve" forgiveness. Although forgiveness may seem like the highest ideal, V.O.D.s are much more about giving survivors a chance to work through, and to convey to offenders, the impact of a crime.